Day 1: New Beginnings

Today I am grateful for new beginnings.  I know it sounds corny and some people may say it's a little too easy to be grateful for something like that at the start of a new year, but I was thinking about it a lot yesterday, and today my husband said we should be grateful for new beginnings.  I took it as a sign. 2014 is hopefully going to be a year of beginnings.

I have been working at an early intervention program for 6 1/2 years.  When I started college, and even before then, I knew I wanted to work with children.  Initially I'd planned to work in first grade or kindergarten, but that changed when I did my student-teaching.  I fell in love with the preschoolers and toddlers at the daycare I worked at part-time.  Their smiles and laughter were infectious, and even though there were days I swore I would never have children of my own, I loved the time I spent watching them discover their world.  I got a job after college as an assistant preschool teacher in Brookline.  I started half-way through the school year and it seemed like I'd found the job of my dreams.  During my second year at the same school I started to feel like I was missing something.  It seemed that teaching preschool wasn't fulfilling me in the way I had hoped it would.  Luckily for me my sister-in-law had been working in early intervention for years, and I started talking to her about what exactly it was she did everyday.  I went for an interview in June of 2007 and began working as a Developmental Specialist in July.  

I spent the next 4 1/2 years learning, developing friendships, and finally feeling like I'd found my niche.  At one point I remember thinking, "Wow, I'm actually getting paid to do this!"  In late fall/early winter of 2011 a position opened for a supervisor in my office.  It seemed like the next step, and everyone around me told me to go for it.  I applied and started 2012 as a Team Leader.  My direct hours spent with children decreased slightly and the administrative aspect of my job filled in the rest of the 40 hours (usually closer to 50 hours) each week.  I enjoyed learning how to supervise new staff, and it felt good to work with the other supervisors and program director.  I jumped headfirst into my new role and learned to love it.  Towards the end of last year I started thinking about my job, especially in relation to my well-being.  In mid-December I spoke with my program director and stepped down from the supervision position.  This month I will go back to work as a Developmental Specialist.  A new beginning.

In some ways this will be an easy transition.  I know the job and love the clinical aspect, so I am eager to get back into the trenches.  I needed to step away from some of the responsibilities of a supervisor, as it was becoming too much emotionally and my mental health was taking a toll.  I'd like to say I don't feel ashamed to admit that, but my perfectionist personality begs to differ.  It will be hard for me to face my own limitations - I will not say failures, as I have learned to accept that this decision was not a failure in any sense of the word.  This is also a part of my new beginning.  Altering the words I use to describe myself.  Limitations vs. failure.  My career is going to be a daily reminder of this goal.  

There will most likely be other new beginnings this year.  My husband and I have started seriously considering selling our house and moving to another part of the state.  Again, this decision sprung from my realization that in order to be more grounded and connected we need to be closer to some of our closest friends.  This change would also mean my husband switching jobs.  Another new beginning for us as a family.  We may decided to start trying to grow our family again - a bumpy road that I'm sure I'll get to explaining at some point over the next 364 days.  I have the plan to loose weight and start a new healthier lifestyle.  That is certainly the most daunting new beginning.  

Rereading this post makes 2014 seem very overwhelming!  One day at a time.  I am grateful for each of the new beginnings I've mentioned, as well as countless others that I am sure I will face.  Without beginnings there cannot be the middle, and really, the middle is where all the good stuff happens.  So here's to the good stuff and new beginnings.  

"For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning."

(Little Gidding)” 

― T.S. Eliot