Day 181: WDW

Justin and I have decided to forgo birthday presents this year. We won't be doing anything super special in September for our 5 year anniversary. However...we will be spending Thanksgiving in Disney World this year!! I'm grateful that tonight we made our first three dining reservations for that week! It's starting to feel real; we're going back to the HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH!!! 

Day 180: Paperwork

I am grateful that all of my month-end paperwork is finished. Most of it isn't due until the 5th of July, but I fully plan on enjoying my three day weekend.  Here's to planning ahead, and not procrastinating. 

Day 179: Strong Women

I'm grateful that I am surrounded by strong women. I have women in my life that show me through their words and actions that even when life throws curveballs you catch it and keep going. My mother, sister-in-laws, friends, co-workers - they've all shown me how to be strong. 

Day 178: Day's Not Over

My day has been 50/50. An ear infection that seems to be getting worse, and an overwhelming sense of "blech". I wasn't in the best mood this afternoon, but it's getting better. I'm grateful that the day isn't over because it could still get better.

Day 177: Sports Medicine

I had to see a Sports-Medicine doctor this morning because my ankle has been hurting for about 6 weeks now.  I rolled it walking out of a family's house and thought it was just get better.  It didn't.  I'm grateful that the doctor I saw actually knew what early intervention was, and what I do as a developmental specialist.  His wife used to work for EI as an SLP.  I was so excited that he knew what I was talking about! 

Day 176: Waking Up in the Morning

I am grateful that I woke up this morning. 

Day 175: It Can Wait

Today at my staff meeting our director showed a video. She didn't tell us anything about it, just that it had been shared at a director's meeting and she thought it would be good for us to watch. Admittedly, I was taken aback at first. I wasn't prepared for the plethora of emotions the video would evoke - a combination of sadness, frustration, powerlessness, ill...it was a mixed bag. 

During the video I was checking in with some of my co-workers, and their responses were also mixed. One has stuck with me - "I need a wake-up call badly." She was right. Texting and driving is dangerous. It's not a point that many would argue; yet, we do it. Not everyone, and I'm not about to envelope my entire generation into the "we all do it" category. But I am guilty of texting while driving. My father would be so upset with me. He didn't want me to even talk on the phone while driving. 

Anyways, the link to the video is below. I've seen worse, but my friend is right - we all need a wake-up call. I'm grateful for the one I received today. I'm also grateful for my friend's point-of-view. 

They are more important things in life than a text message. Texting can wait. 

From One Second to the Next

Day 174: Captain

Justin asked me to be grateful for "captain" tonight. I'm not sure what that means exactly; it's a bit more cryptic than his last suggestion - beluga whales. I'm sure there are many types of captains - Captain Morgan, "Oh captain, my captain", ... other things I'm sure. 

Day 173: My Own Bed

We had an awesome weekend. 2 concerts in 2 nights. I am exhausted and cannot wait to go to bed tonight. I am grateful that I will be sleeping in my own bed tonight. Hotels are great, but there is nothing like your own mattress, blankets, and pillows.

Day 172: WKLB

I am grateful for WKLB 102.5! Free tickets to see Rascal Flatts at Country Fest...OK!!!

Day 171: Backstreet Boys

I am grateful that tonight for the second time in less than a year I will be seeing BSB in concert! 14-year-old me is super jealous of 28-year-old me right now.

Day 170: Rocking a Baby

I am grateful that my work day ended with a visit to see a set of handsome 6 month old twins. The best part? I got to rock one of them to sleep. So grateful.

Day 169: Kindle

I'm grateful for my Kindle. I love that I have the ability to instantly start reading a new book when I finish one. Of course, there are times I have to wait between books because I've become completely enraptured in a character or a story, but when the time comes that I'm ready to move on, my Kindle is waiting. 

Day 168: Ice Cream

I am grateful for ice cream dates, great conversations, and lots of laughs. 

Day 167: Air Conditioning

It is no surprise to those who know me, but for those who don't - I really hate when it gets super hot out.  It hasn't quite hit that point where I can't bear to walk out the door, but let's face it - the time is coming. Summer and I don't always get along, but the marvelous invention of AC has helped ease the tension in our relationship.  I am grateful that when I came home from work today, Justin was putting in the air conditioners!  The dog will be happy on his days at home during the horrible heat, and I will be very happy falling asleep, pretending it's the middle of December.  

Day 166: Babysitting

Today I am grateful for the hours I spent with Ayden and Noah. Justin and I babysat for them while Jess and Brandon were at Chloe's dance recital. They are so much fun, really silly, sometimes trying, and always awesome. Watching Justin with the two of them gave me a glimpse into our future. He's clearly going to be a great dad someday, which was pretty cool to see on Father's Day.


Ps. I'm not giving my Dad a slight. I just have a better day in mind to be specifically grateful for him.

Day 165: No Smelly Dog Here

I'm so grateful that Ollivander no longer smells like skunk. Justin and I gave him a bath with dish soap, baking soda, and hydrogen peroxide at 12:30 this morning. Justin slept downstairs so Ollie wouldn't spread any lingering smell upstairs. When we both woke up I gave Lucky Dogs a call and scheduled a skunk-removal bath. 

Tonight Ollie is skunk-free, and I'm so, so incredibly grateful for that simple fact. 

Day 164: Strength

Tonight was rough.  My eyes are still red from the tears and my nose is still stuffed from crying.  Honestly, I can't remember the last time I felt this sad, mad, empty, numb, hopeless, lost, scared, and a whole other bag of emotions all in one night.

It wasn't a panic attack that hit me. It was the overwhelming feeling of sadness.  Sometimes that happens and I don't always know why. It used to happen a lot, so I guess I could be grateful that this feeling doesn't show itself as often as before.  But that's not what I'm grateful for tonight.

When I started feeling sad I went upstairs and left Justin on the couch, watching TV.  I'd planned to just get into bed and hopefully fall asleep.  I checked my phone before climbing in and saw that my mom had called.  I decided to call her back. I guess I could be grateful that I made the decision to call her. She made me feel better, and reminded me that I am loved. But that's not what I'm grateful for tonight.

After I hung up with my mom, I called downstairs to Justin.  I needed him to come upstairs and just sit with me.  I still wasn't okay.  He gave me a hug and we talked about some of the things that have been bothering me lately.  I guess I could be grateful for his hug, but that's not it either.

In talking with my mom and with Justin I realized something about myself.  I am strong.  I don't always believe it, actually I hardly ever believe it, but tonight I was strong.  I felt horrible, but I reached out to the two people who probably love me most. I talked about the stress of work, the frustration of not being able to sell our house, the disappointment in not having a child, and the sadness that this Sunday will be my 4th Father's Day without my Dad.  I talked about how scared I am that I could wake up tomorrow and be in the same horrible place I was last December. I tried to explain how frightening it is to not feel in control. 

I also listened.

I listened to my mom tell me how much she loves me.  I heard her say that things will get better.  She told me she's proud of me. I listened to my husband tell me he loves me. He told me that his life's goal is to make me happy, and three years from now he sees himself with me.  I heard his faith in us in those words.

I am strong because I made a phone call when I felt sad. I am strong because I listened when people told me they loved me. I am strong because of everything I have been through. 

I am grateful for my strength tonight.  

Day 163: Population - 85,000 to 95,000 statewide

I am grateful to live in a state that has a deer population. Yes, I know that might sound weird, but it's the truth. In the past few weeks I've seen several deer in different parts of the state. They are so beautiful and (as long as they aren't jumping in front a car) soothing. This afternoon I was driving from Ashland to Hopkinton after an evaluation, on my way to a visit that I knew was going to be tough.  All of a sudden a big deer jumped across the road ahead of me.  I slowed down and noticed the driver coming in the opposite direction was also watching the deer.  We drove by each other and smiled. Such a cool moment between two strangers, because of a deer.  

Day 162: Taking the Initiative

Tonight I am grateful to have a husband that takes the initiative.  All day today I was thinking about the pile of laundry threatening to overtake our bedroom, and the pile of dishes that magically reappeared in the sink even though I did them all 2 days ago.  I had a long day today and didn't get home until almost 7pm. When I walked in the house I saw Justin standing at the sink, and as I walked further into the house I heard the washing machine running.  My husband's the best.   

Day 161: Spring Rain

Today was a mixed bag. Not a great start, an okay middle, and a productive afternoon. Tonight I was watching tv and smelled something wonderful - spring rain. We had a quick shower and all the air took on that great smell of rain. I am grateful for that smell, and that it helped end my day on a positive note.

Day 160: Random Updates

I am so very grateful for the texts, videos, and phone calls from the families I work with. Videos of babies starting to crawl and texts with pictures and notes about first words. It's one of the many reasons my job is so special.

Day 159: Sturbridge

I am grateful for the Friendly's in Sturbridge. It just so happens to be about equal distance between my house and Kristen's house in Connecticut. It serves as the meeting spot for two best friends to catch up. :)

Day 158: My Place on the Couch

Today I needed to feel better. I'm not in the mood to have a cold/cough or anything similar. I'm grateful that I didn't the day on the couch. I'm not sure I feel a whole lot better, but I certainly don't feel worse. 

Day 157: Soft Tissues

I am grateful for the plethora of soft tissues available to me in my house at this moment. My very runny nose also appreciates them.

Day 156: More Sunshine

I am grateful for the extra hours of daylight the spring and summer seasons give us. I know it's been awhile since daylights savings time, but I'm appreciating tonight. Hearing the birds chirp outside and watching the sky slowly darken makes going to bed much more peaceful.

Day 155: IMDB

I am grateful for Internet Movie Database (IMDB). It has solved more "what was that guy/girl in?" debates than I can count. Including tonight when I was watching an episode of Gilmore Girls from season 4. I said, "who is that kid?" in reference to one of Lane's fellow students from college. He looked crazy familiar and cute, but Justin couldn't place him either. I checked on IMDB and it turns out he was Benjamin in the most recent Twilight movie. Thank goodness I figured that out. HaHa...

Day 154: Hair Wash

I came home from work feeling tired and hot. I went upstairs and instead of just changing, I washed my hair too. It felt so great to have clean hair for the remainder of the night. I'm grateful for a quick hair wash. Sometimes it's just the little things.

Day 153: Extra Day

I am grateful that for first time since we both started doing the retreat, Justin and I had the day after off from work.  I have been taking the Monday off since the second year I was part of the team, but this was the first time Justin followed suit.  I am grateful that we were both able to relax and unwind together.

Day 152: French Toast

I promise at some point there will be more about my awesome weekend, but again, it is late.

This morning I walked into the mess hall and was greeted by the smell of french toast and maple syrup.  I am so grateful to the women who volunteer their time to cook for us all weekend.  After a long night, the smell of fresh cooked breakfast was wonderful.  

Thanks to the COOKS!! 

Day 151: Amazing...

It's pretty late and I'm extremely over-tired.  So I will just say that on Saturday I was grateful for the amazing experiences I had on the I ACT 8 retreat.  The people on the team are some of my closest friends and their faith inspires me.  The people who came on retreat are an example of the good that the future has to offer.  I am so grateful to have been a part of another amazing weekend.