This morning Justin and I, and his brother and sisters (and their spouses), and our nieces and nephews, met at the 8:30 am church service in Easthampton. His Dad had asked us all to be there, and had arranged for the priest to renew his wedding vows with Justin's Mom. They celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary today.
It was really beautiful to see two people who have been together for so long, stand in front of their family and say the same words they said to each other 40 years ago. I was blessed to become a part of this family when Justin and I got married 4 1/2 years ago. We had obviously been together for years before that so I've had 9 1/2 years to watch Justin's parents interact with each other and with their family and friends. They have relationships with people that have been built on love. Watching them over the past years has proven to be a great example of how to make a marriage work.
Watching Tom and Diane renew their vows made me think of my own parents. They never had a chance to celebrate 40 years together, but in the time they did share I learned more about love, relationships, and marriage than I realized.
My parents met when they were teenagers working at Stop 'N Shop. My mom told me she thought my Dad was so cute, and loved his sense of humor. Good thing, because that sense of humor never faded! They were married young, in their early twenties, and had 3 boys in the next five years. I was born about 10 years later. Growing up my parents relationship was something I always took for granted. My Mom was home during the day and took me to practices, and my Dad would work from very early in the morning until he came home for supper. I had dinner with both of my parents almost every night. Some of my favorite memories of my Mom and Dad come from nights sitting at the table.
Special occasions were my Dad's specialty. I remember the year my Mom came downstairs and my Dad had taped the words Happy Valentine's Day, Love Me on the ceiling fan in the kitchen. He thought it was brilliant, it made my mom smile so I guess he was right. There was a Mother's Day that he paid for me and my Mom to spend a night in New York City and see one of her favorite shows. For her birthday/Christmas in 2006 my Dad bought my Mom a puppy because he knew she was going to be sad when I didn't move home after college. My Dad was never overly or outwardly romantic, at least not that I can remember; but he did have his moments and a very special way of showing his love for my Mom.
My mom showed her love for my Dad in other ways. She knew that he didn't like any of his food touching on the dinner plate, so she made sure to give him a bowl when things might get mixed together. She bought him new socks before he even knew he needed them. My Mom always tried hard to think of presents for my Dad that he wanted, not needed. I think her ultimate display of love was dealing with his crazy sense of humor day in and day out. She always smiled at his crazy stories and laughed at his funny (most of the time) jokes.
I'm sure my Mom and Dad had their moments of frustration and I know they didn't always agree. There must have been some yelling or silence between the two of them, but I can't recall a single instance. My parents taught me that arguing was something to be done when the kids were not around. I remember my Mom telling me once that nothing was so important to be mad at someone you love for very long.
I think back to all of these moments and I get an overwhelming feeling of love. I am so fortunate to have grown up in house with two parents who loved each other very much.
My parents and Justin's parents have been wonderful models of how to have a lasting marriage. It takes hard work, lots of laughter, support of family and friends, and love. Someday in the next 40 years, I hope to pass along all of these lessons to my own children. Tonight I am grateful for the amazing examples of marriage that Justin and I were blessed to have throughout our lives.
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