Today was a 50/50 kind of day. We had our 2nd meeting for the I ACT retreat. It was fun to see some of our friends and start planning one of the best weekends I look forward to each year. On the way home from the meeting I started feeling crappy. I didn't know why, but my stomach didn't feel good and my head was starting to hurt. I recognized my anxiety was building, but I couldn't figure out its source. Justin was great at talking me through it, and I felt a little better about half way to Milford.
When we got home I was exhausted and went right upstairs to put on sweatpants. I still had a headache and my throat felt scratchy. I was ready to curl up on the couch, watch the Olympics, and maybe do a puzzle. When I went back downstairs Justin reminded me that we had planned to go to church at 6:00. Honestly, my first reaction was "Nope. Not happening." But, I got dressed again and we headed to St. Matthew's.
Since Justin and I have lived together we never really had a specific church that we belonged to, except the church in Easthampton. St. Matthew's is a Catholic church in Southborough that we found while living in Ashland. The church is small and always crowded. It has a great community feel. The priest is wonderful. He is down-to-earth and very relatable.
One of the first things I do before every mass is look at what songs we will be singing. I didn't recognize any tonight, so I flipped the pages to today's readings. About half way through mass the guitarist announced the song, "Open My Eyes." I looked at Justin, smiled, and said, "my Open My Eyes?" This simple song has been one of my favorites since I went back to church in college, and it always seems to be sung on the nights I am reluctant to go to church. It has a very special meaning to me, and tonight it turned my day around. I am going to bed smiling.
I am grateful for the beautiful song and the way in which it has strengthened my relationship with God.
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