Day 295: Home

I've been doing a lot of think about what the word home means.  If you look it up online, the first definition that comes up is "the place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household."  

Up until I was about 20-years-old, this definition was fairly accurate.  "Home" was a place. It had four walls, ceilings, a front door, etc.  14 Parker Street, Saugus MA was my home.  I looked forward to going home after a long day at school, and I loved having friends come over to my home, especially to stage dance shows and play in the 'wooods.'  When I went off to college, I missed being home.  I missed my own room and my own bathroom (even though I shared it with 5 other people at any given time).  I've always been the person to get "homesick."  I could never be away from home for too long without missing it.  Even when I was on fun vacations with my family or school trips.  I always loved the ride home just as much as the ride away.  

My thoughts about what "home" meant started shifting after graduation from college.  I vividly remember going on a Mother's Day trip to New York City with my Mom in May of 2007.  We spent a few nights there, saw a few shows, and were the quintessential tourists.  It was probably the first or second night when I started getting the "home-sick" feeling.  It was strange though.  Up until that point, if I was away from home but with my Mom, the feeling of missing home usually went away pretty quickly.  I couldn't figure out why I was feeling that way.  I mentioned it to my Mom, and she came up with the solution.  I was actually missing Justin.  

Justin and I had moved in together right after I finished college in December 2006. So by May we had been living together for about 5 months.  We were living in a studio apartment, sleeping on a futon, and the only door to slam when you got mad was the bathroom door (it got slammed a few times).  It didn't make sense to me why my Mom thought I was home-sick for a place like that; but the more I thought about it the more I knew she was right.  I was home-sick for that little space that had somehow become "home."

Since that first apartment, Justin and I have lived in two more apartments and now, our first house.  If using the definition above, each of these places became home for me. They were the places I went to after work, the places I spent the majority of my time, and the places I went to sleep in.

Living in Brighton was fun.  We were minutes from the city, and had an awesome view of the Pru. from the office window. Justin's commute to work was less than 2 minutes.  We had our fair share of gatherings, and left our mark (a bright yellow and green kitchen). This is also where we got the first addition to our family - Homie, the turtle.  We lived in Brighton for 1 year.  

Our apartment in Ashland was a change.  We went from living in the city to living in the 'burbs.  Not that our apartment in Ashland was country-living, but we were no where near Boston.  This was also the furthest from Saugus I'd ever lived.  That apartment saw an engagement, wedding plans, and a married couple.  Big life events were celebrated within those walls.  We lived in Ashland for about 1 1/2 years.

Now we're in Milford.  Our first house.  We've been here for about 5 years.  When we bought this house we knew it wouldn't be our forever home; it was  a starter place.  We did a lot of work on this house.  The entire first floor has been renovated, and we're in the process of updating some of the upstairs.  In this house we added another family member, Ollivander.  We also gave our turtle to another great couple to love.  Justin and I have grown-up a lot in this house.  We've changed as people and as a couple.  We've become stronger individually and as a unit.  

And now here we are; getting ready for another move.  Justin and I are putting this house on the rental market and we are officially moving to Western, MA.  It's been a long process, and there have been ups and downs all year.  But, I can officially say that Easthampton, MA will be our new residence before the end of the year. 

This move is really what has brought up the notion of home. For the most part, this has been a really exciting time.  Since last December Justin and I have known we wanted to move out that way.  It's the right decision for a lot of reasons. It has also come with some anxiety, mostly on my part.  I will be moving as far as I've ever been from my childhood home. From Saugus to Easthampton is about a 2 hour drive. I'll be very far away from my first "home."

But what I've realized is this: home is much more than a building with walls and a ceiling. Home is place where you feel safe.  It’s a place filled with the people you love, and the people who love you. Home is the warm, fuzzy feeling you get sitting around with some of your favorite people not doing anything particularly special. One person can feel at home in many different places.  Looking back, there were several places that I felt at home.  My best friends' houses, my drama school, my cousins' houses.  All of these places are filled with memories that leave me smiling. Each of these places holds a very special place in my heart. 

Yes, an actual home is the building you drive to at the end of the day.  It's a place that is filled with love.  Your family gathers there and memories are made within those walls. But home can also be more than that. Home may not be a house, or a room, or any one particular place.  Home is a feeling. 

Tonight I am grateful for our next adventure in turning a new house into our new home.

It's official. We're moving!!!